Stefan’s Diaries: The Craving Chapter 23

We hailed a carriage heading uptown Lexi told me I wanted to save my strength for whatever came next and got out without b othering to pay. This was what life was equal for one such as Lexi, powerful and simple in her wants and desires. She didnt need any intricate, crazy plans for amassing wealth. She could compel anyone to do anything she asked, and life was incredibly easy.It was tempting, especially the opinion that was nonviolent. No one was hurt in any of her activities, except financially.Lexi must have read my thoughts because she grinned at me and waggled her eyebrows. You should stick with me, my friend. Life like this can be sweet, non a curse, she offered.I shook my head, smiling. Thanks, but as you keep saying, I have my own path.By the time we made it to the Sutherland mansion, its windows were dark and already draped in festoons of black crepe. In the strange half-light of the early hour, dew sparkled eerily off the matte cloth. The house was cordoned off.I gentl y forced the lock. Neither Lexi nor I made any noise until we came into the living room, when she gave a gasp.The coroners had removed the bodies but not done any cleanup work. The vast amounts of daub from their ripped-up bodies had seeped into the carpet and stain the marble floors beneath. Dark black splatters of dried blood covered the walls, matching the crepe outside.My god, Lexi whispered. He massacred them.I fell back into a chair, overwhelmed with guilt. It hadnt been long since I had discovered the poor family here, their bodies still warm with rapidly fleeting life. Backward and backward my thoughts ran, remembering the things I had done wrong, all of which had led up to this tragic climax.If I hadnt run away from the receptionIf hadnt gone along with my brothers plans to begin withIf I hadnt saved BridgetIf I hadnt fled to New YorkIf I hadnt made Damon drink blood to complete his transformationThis is my fault, I moaned.I put my head in my hands. The trail of blood an d death that wasnt even of my own devising followed me like a curse.No, its Damons, Lexi corrected promptly. And Klauss.I should never have come here. I should have stayed as far away from humans as possible.Hey. Lexi walked over to me, rest push down and looking up into my face. She put a hand on my chin, forcing me to look back at her. You didnt do this. Klaus did he ordered this. And you had no innovation of marrying into this family. That was Damons idea. You told me yourself he threatened to kill that roomful of people if you didnt go along. I would have killed him at that point, but hes not my brother.I gazed into her dark eyes. Ive done so such(prenominal) wrong.She bit her lower lip. You made mistakes in the past. Bad ones. But you know that, and were doing your best to correct them, or at least avoid them in the future. Thats why I am here, Stefan. Youre worth saving.A pain that had nothing to do with thirst made my throat ache. Lexi, pleaseI can see into your heart, Stefan, she express softly. I dont scarce appear out of the blue to save any vampire. Youre different. And someday, maybe, youll know that. And part of your curse will be over.She leaned forward and pressed her lips against my cheek. I could feel the soft flutter of her eyelashes as she closed her eyes against my face.Come on, she said, backing up and chucking me under the chin. We have work to do. Ill look around down here. You go get whatever things of yours the police havent confiscated. I think youre moving out of this town for a while.Between one breath and the next, between a trick of the light and the deepest shadow, she had changed. Sunny, friendly Lexi now had bloodred eyes and black veins around her face. Fangs glistened in what little light at that place was. She was in full predator mode, search for the slightest sign of the vampire. Even though she was just an older version of what I was, seeing her that way still sent a chill down my body. Lurking just beneath our s kin, the monster was always ready to come out.With a heavy heart I plodded up the grand, dark wood staircase. There was no need to be completely silent the few servants who remained were in their quarters in a distant wing, far away from the death and mess. I could hear their overloud voices, their discussions of prospects and other households all desperate attempts to fend off the darkness that their employers had slipped into so suddenly.I wondered what Margaret was doing, vowing to get word to her about Klaus and his vendetta. She was probably in her own home with her husband, wail her sisters and parents. Which was harder? To be dead, or to live with the memory of the dead? As a vampire, I would never know the former, but always experience the latter.I short reached my room, where a night ago Bridget had thrown herself at me. I smelled traces of the violet perfume she had doused herself with. It had infiltrated my pillow and sheets. So much more childish than Katherines scent , the subtle, alluring, complicated coalesce of citrus and spice.I took a valise another gift from Winfield, planning for our honeymoon, I suppose and threw the few things I considered mine into it. My old clothes, some dispense with change, my journal. I flipped to an old page where Id written about Katherine.September 8, 1864She is not who she seems. Should I be surprised? Terrified? Hurt?Its as if everything I know, everything Ive been taught, everything Ive believed in my past seventeen years is wrong.I can still feel where she kissed me, where her fingers grasped my hands. I still yearn for her, and yet the voice of reason is screaming in my ears you cannot love a vampireIf I had one of her daisies, I could pluck the leaves and let the flower choose for me. I love her I love her not II love her.I do. No matter the consequences.Is this what following your heart is? I wish there was a map or a compass to help me find my way. But she has my heart and that above all else is my North Star and that will have to be enough.I snapped the book shut, curled my lip at my foolishness. Downstairs was the present reality and thinking about the past did no good. I threw the book into the valise and went downstairs.But instead of finding Lexi there to greet me, there was emptiness and a horrible, familiar scent.Death and decay.A faint breeze whistled through broken wood the back door was odd wide open. I shivered despite myself. The silence, Lexis absence, howled like a banshee.A single piece of paper, the size of a ticket, fluttered on the floor. I picked it up, feeling dread goad my skin.All it said was PAYMENT NUMBER TWO LUCIUS.